If you have or know someone who has lost a child, I just want to share something with you.
It's okay to fall apart.
You don't always have to be put together or brush your hair.
You don't have to act strong.
You don't have to get out of bed.
You don't have to forget.
I feel like sometimes grieving mothers are pressured, in a way, to act strong, and put together, and to go on almost like nothing happened.
"Oh, your so strong though, you'll get through this"
You know what, maybe I'm not that strong! Maybe I just feel like laying on the floor, holding my dead child's blanket for a couple hours. Maybe I feel like visiting his grave just to sit and cry.
"Everything happens for a reason"
So my child was supposed to die? and that makes it okay? Thanks for that.
"God needed another angel"
Implying that God wanted my child to die doesn't make me feel better.
"At least you have your other child/children"
That doesn't make the pain of my loss any smaller. In fact, watching my healthy toddler makes me cry harder, knowing that my angel baby will never do what he can.
"You need to do *insert action*"
I'm sorry. Have you gone through this? No? Then don't tell me what I need to do. Telling someone they need to do something differently implies that there currently are doing it wrong. There is never a wrong way to grieve.
I could go on.
There are all kinds of sayings and phrases that society thinks is supposed to help us. I find that just saying "I'm so sorry" does just fine. So please, avoid using these phrases in the presence of an angel mom. She knows what she's supposed to do. She knows how she's supposed to act.
But sometimes, all she wants to do is cry.
It's okay to fall apart.
You don't always have to be put together or brush your hair.
You don't have to act strong.
You don't have to get out of bed.
You don't have to forget.
I feel like sometimes grieving mothers are pressured, in a way, to act strong, and put together, and to go on almost like nothing happened.
"Oh, your so strong though, you'll get through this"
You know what, maybe I'm not that strong! Maybe I just feel like laying on the floor, holding my dead child's blanket for a couple hours. Maybe I feel like visiting his grave just to sit and cry.
"Everything happens for a reason"
So my child was supposed to die? and that makes it okay? Thanks for that.
"God needed another angel"
Implying that God wanted my child to die doesn't make me feel better.
"At least you have your other child/children"
That doesn't make the pain of my loss any smaller. In fact, watching my healthy toddler makes me cry harder, knowing that my angel baby will never do what he can.
"You need to do *insert action*"
I'm sorry. Have you gone through this? No? Then don't tell me what I need to do. Telling someone they need to do something differently implies that there currently are doing it wrong. There is never a wrong way to grieve.
I could go on.
There are all kinds of sayings and phrases that society thinks is supposed to help us. I find that just saying "I'm so sorry" does just fine. So please, avoid using these phrases in the presence of an angel mom. She knows what she's supposed to do. She knows how she's supposed to act.
But sometimes, all she wants to do is cry.
