I've been thinking about doing this for a very long time now. I've been told my many people that I should. I've even talked to others about getting it done. But what's holding me back is: I don't want people to think I'm doing it for the wrong reason.
I want to write a book.
I'm not worried about making money or becoming a "real" author and writing more. I just want to put Corbin's full story into one collective piece to share with others. There are a lot of things I haven't written about that are part of his story and should be told.
I just don't want people to say "She's doing it for the money", or that I'm trying to make money off of Corbin's death. Because that's not true. So many good things have happened because of Corbin, that I feel it needs to be shared on a bigger level.
I love blogging and I love how many people I can reach, but it's not the same. I want to be able to walk to my bookshelf, pull out a book, and say to Monkey "this is your brother's story, this is his life. Read it and learn how he changed the world."
I want to have something physical that represents his story. Something I can take with me and give to others. "Read this and learn that good things can happen after heartbreak. Learn how you can make a difference, how you can save lives, and how you can memorialize your baby for eternity."
Does that sound selfish? I hope it didn't come across that way.
This isn't for me, this is for all those mothers out there who have lost a child and didn't know where their life would go afterwards. This is for all those unborn babies who need someone to talk for them. I want to do this because I am so proud of Corbin. I'm not the one who touched so many hearts or inspired others to make a change. He did. I didn't show the strength of a lion after battling a life threatening disease, he did. My son is amazing and I want to share that with everyone.
You hear that Peanut? I'm am so very, very proud of you. You have made such a difference in your short little life and it amazes me every day the people you have touched and inspired.
I wonder if you would be willing to help? Would you share how Corbin touched your life in some way?
I bet we could fill chapters with those stories. :)